LANCELOT: 12/17/06

How I got where I am.

I realized today, after some serious soul searching, that it's all thanks to my first and secnd grade teachers, that I'm in the military, and happily getting married to the most wonderful woman! Warning! This is going to be long!

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My timeline begins in first grade. I was in Catholic School back then, and I wasn't the best student. I was messy, and my teacher mad a habit of making an example of me. I remember once I walked into the classroom to find the entire contents of my desk scattered across the floor, because she had tipped my desk over. Papers, books, pencils, drawings, etc. All over the floor in a large pile. I didn't feel hate, but it was a strong dislike for her at that moment, and it carried on like that throughout the year. She said I was learning deficient, and had me get tested for mental problems. Turns out, I was too freakin' smart for her class, but they kept me in there, rather than move me forward. So, I went to second grade, happy to be out of that classroom.

Second grade, it would turn out, was no better. My teacher stifeled my creativity, and even went so far as to take away my pencil, because it was a scratch-n-sniff pencil, and not like the other students' pencils. She constantly told me that I wasn't good at my classwork, even though I usually had it done before the end of the day (it's here I developed my loathing for homework).
At the end of the year, I no longer wanted to go to that school, so my loving parents transferred me to public school just in time for third grade. So, thanks to those two teachers, I embarked on a path to my current life.

I have to say, that my third grade year was probably the happiest time in my life education-wise. I had a great teacher (the kind that inspires, as well as instructs). Alas, there were disasters that school year. I lost my grandmother, and for the first time, saw my mother cry. I also remember getting kicked out of class for applauding when the Space Shuttle "Challenger" exploded mid-air. In my defense, I had seen many a movie with explosions by that age, and thought we were watching one of those. So yeah, I cheered. looking back, it was insensitive, but at the time, I didn't know any better. On the bright side, while standing in the hallway, I got to meet and make friends with the school janitor. That was also the year I found out I was a nerd. Well, the kids in school helped me learn that anyway.

Fourth grade is really a blur, as nothing really interesting happened. The only notable thing was breaking my mother's trust in me by lying to her. Not just a little lie, but a big one. I was still following my second grade initiative of not doing homeowrk, and one of my teachers called me on it. But rather than take it, I lied, and told her that he had it out for me. Having never lied to her before, she took my side, and called for a parent-teacher-principal conference. It was the worst I ever felt, seeing her so upset with me, so I vowed not to lie any more (unless to do so would help a friend or family member in a way the truth simply couldn't).

Fifth grade wasn't much different. I went to school, and after-school care, and lived pretty much like most kids that age do.

Sixth grade was a turning point for me. I realized that I wasn't fitting in with the kids in my school...partly because I was still treated like the dorky kid from third grade, and partly because the kids were genuinely mean in some ways. In any case, while I was away at summer camp, my parents (thanks to my pleading) decided to sell our house and move. At first, we moved into an appartment complex, wher eI had my first realization that my father was Superman. Some of the local kids had followed me off the bus, and beat me up. I ran into our appartment, and told my dad, who immediately walked me out to the car to find them. When he did, he gave them what for! My dad! He never really raised his voice to me (a hand, yes, but not his voice), but he got loud with these kids, and they looked scared. My dad was frickin' Superman in my eyes. Soon after, we bought a new house in a new neighborhood, and my new life started. I transfered schools mid-year, but I didn't miss a beat. It was my chance to start fresh, and while I tried, I was still labeled a nerd. That was okay, because it was a new place, and I was determined to make friends, and be someone different. It worked, but slowly. I did end up making some friends - in school, and in my new neighborhood. Life, it seemed, was getting better.

In seventh grade, I got a new hairstyle...one that would last me until I graduated from college. It started out just a cute curl in my bangs, kind of like Clark Kent, then it grew to Johnny Depp's Cry Baby character, then I just let it keep growing, but only the bangs. Barbers tried to cut it, but I was adamant about keeping it, and my personal barber eventually came to know me because of it. Seventh grade was also when I truly "fell" for the first time. Her name was Annie, and I crushed on her like there was no tomorrow. We met in band class, we both played the saxaphone, and I thought about her all the time. I molded my life to be near her, to be like her, and to like the things she liked. But, again, I was a nerd, and gorls don't like nerds at that age.

To prove how much of a nerd I was, I carried a briefcase to school in eigth grade. Yep, I was a NERD! I also voiced my adoration to Annie - in the form of "secret admirerer" letters. I don't know how I thought they would work, but I was beginning to read a lot of Shakespeare by that point, and thought myself a little Romeo. I fooled myself, but it was a defining time in my life. I learned all about the Doors thanks to her, and began exploring other interests, rather than just what I liked. That's also the last year I wrote to Santa (I accidentally left my notebook in one of my classes, and the teacher read it to the entire class!) So, the rest of eigth grade, I spent in hiding.

Then came high school. Still, I fawned over Annie, and was transparent to everyone but myself.

My freshman year was spent in the chess club, the drama club, and band. Band was the only connection I had to this girl, so I had to try and stay with it if I ever hoped to land her. Not to you readers, it never happened.

My sophamore year, Annie joined me at the school. My life was better, and I got to see her in a few classes. But, we weren't talking, so I did te next best ting...I made friends with her friends. I know, it's shady, and a little scary, but I was a kid feeling unrequated love, or so I thought then. That's when I met her best friend Amanda. Amanda (Spud) would become one of my closest friends throughout high school, and even after. She's the reason I joined Model U.N. and the Speech Team...well, she told me Annie was in those clubs, so I joined. Annie quit them soon after I joined (I still didn't get the hint) but I stuck with them anyway. I started to become a person that resembles my current self then. The "Speechers" were an eclectic group of students, from all the castes of high school. We had bookworms, jocks, Drama students, band nerds, cheerleaders, and stoners. And EVERYONE fit in! Thanks to the speech team, I became a social chameleon. Thanks to my only mle friend, Jason, I also learned about being the bad kid. He was like the big brother I never had. Sure, once in a while, he picked on me, but for the most part, we were cool. We were Beavis and Butthead.

Junior year, Jason and Amanda are the best friends in the world...Amanda is the light side, Jason is the dark. They kept me balanced, when I spiraled out of control. Alas, my life still revolved around going to school, and pining for Annie. This was probably my most stupid year when it came to her. My dad, cool uy that he is, got me a moped so I could tool around the area without asking for a ride. To my shame (now) I used t to be your typical stalker, and drove past Annie's house on an almost daily basis. Annie quit band to become a cheerleader (partly because I scared her a little) and I joined the Explorers (junior law enforcement). I'd always wanted to be a police man since I was 4-years-old, and no wI had my chance. It would help define me the next year.

Senior year, Jason went off to college, and Amanda introduced me to her school side project, the school's radio station. Yes folks, wanting to get in tight with Annie's friend led me to make friends with Amanda, and she led me to the beginnings of my new career. I excelled in my radio classes, and even got to help out on the radio from time to time. I loved it! This year was also the year I stopped wanting to be a policeman. Remember, I was growing my bangs out, and by this point, the strand had reached the back of my head. Unnoticable when pulled back, but let down, you could see it. Well, my Explorer group was cool with t, and our police officer sponsor was okay with it, but he got transfered to a better job, and the guy that replaced him changed everything. He ran us like a little paramilitary group, and wanted us to take on the roll of a real police officer, but without any of the benifits or weaponry. So, one afternoon, I went to our wrrkly meeting, and he told me to cut my hair. I told him that I wasn't about to do that, because I'd grown used to it, and it never mattered before. So, long story short, I turned in my badge, and turned to a life in radio. This year was also the year I met, and landed my first girlfriend, Jessica. Like a match, it was quick, strong, and over quickly, and by the time the school prom came around, I was single again. It hurt, but after a few months, I got over it, just in time to graduate.

So, there I was, at a crossroads in my life...what to do? I had no drive to be a policeman anymore, and that's all I'd ever wanted, so all of a sudden, the book of my life was a blank slate. So, I went to college. Thanks to my friends in the speech team, I had a little more self confidence, and soon found myself hanging out with a local fraternity. the Pi Kapps really helped ease me into college life, though my GPA went from a 3.1 to a 1.75 in a semester (frisbee vs. class). Still, I had no idea what I wanted to do. So I went through the motions, taking classes I needed for any degree (thanks to my mom's ranking as a counselor at the school, I got a lot of the B.S. classes out of the way early). Then, two years later, I remembered my love for radio, and went to my second college - to get my degree in Broadcasting.

V.U. was a small school, in a small town, in the middle of nowhere. But, we made due. My classes were taught by folks who actually had jobs in radio and television, so we got first-hand knowledge, and learned lessons no book can tell you. It was here, I met the Horsemen Jason, Matt, and Martin. They got me through some rough times...the truest friends I ever had! Another group of roommates in my dorm, introduced me to the Rocky Horror experience. I credit them, and the RHPS/TNMC experiences with bringing me out of my shell, and giving me the self confidence only running around in front of a thousand people in only your underwear can. That confidence came in handy in many ways...one of wich was talking to a young lady at school, named Barbara, who stole my heart without asking, and I gave it without thinking twice.
I think I first felt the all consuming Love with her, and she taught me a lot about life, and happiness. Long and painful story short, we had to split up, and that event took me to a dark place. A VERY dark place. The only way to crawl out of it, was to put my emotions on hold, and focus on school. The horsemen got me through those rough times, and I'll always be gratefull for them. My parents, though I didn't realize it at the time, were always at my side as well, making sure I was okay, mentally and emotionally. I'm sorry for scaring you like that! Well...I graduated, and had an idea of what I wanted to do, but I wasn't done. I had a small degree, but I had to get my Bachelor's. So, back to my first school I went, a little wiser, a little stronger, but at the same time, a little more closed off from the world.

I went back to school to get my second degree, still not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, but in no hurry to come up with something, so I worked odd jobs while going to classes, and drifted through the last two years. My Rocky Horror friends helped a lot, and the fraternity was around (though it changed from the group I had known - BTW...the V.U.president, was a Brother in the fraternity). Still feeling the pain from heartbreak, and not knowing where to go or what to do, something in me clicked, and I started looking into the military. I think I did it for a few reasons:
1) It would wisk me away from the place that I'd known most of my life and give me new people, and new places to re-invent myself (as I'd done twice before in my life).
2) My dad, and his dad had done it, so I knew I could do it. Besides, what's a few years, and then I could come back if I didn't like it.
3) Gooooooooooooooood Morning Vietnam. The movie starring Robin Williams about an Airman that was a radio broadcaster. I figured, I could get experience in the service, then translate that into a civilian job, like the real Adrian Cronauer.
4) No radio ior television stations were hiring. I applied, but got turned don, or I'd go to work, and they'd have nothing for me to do, so I'd leave and not go back.
5) In one of my odd jobs (I think it was selling plasma for gas money) I met a former radio dj, who told me that experience counted more than school did, and his time in the Army helped him get jobs in radio.
I'm sure there were more, and some of them were pretty petty or selfish at the time, but right after I graduated with my B.A. in December, 2000, I went to the Air Force recruiter's office to enlist.

The recruiter actually turned me away, saying I needed to think about my decision, and it was the smartest thing he could have done for me...because I DID think about it, and decided it was Air Force broadcasting, or Marine infantry, and there was no way I was becoming a Marine (I was still living a little self-destructively in those days, but not THAT destructive). Maybe it was a cry for help I gave myself, but I wised up quick, and went back to the AF recruiter. I signed, he signed, and longer story short, I joined the Air Force (The year I spent in the Delayed Entry Program has little to do with getting me where I am, so I'll just leave that time out for now).

I found out just how much I liked civilian life in basic training :) I also found out just how much I had neglected my relationship with my parents, and just how much they both Loved me. I also rediscovered my relationship with God, in a moment of weakness and fear. I knelt down and cried and prayed and cried and prayed. After that, I was nigh untouchable, and graduated...an Airman.

My first assignment was Lajes Field, a.k.a. Paradise. It's not really, it's just a little island base in the Atlantic, and it had it's share of ups and downs, but looking back, it was Paradise. There, I got my first military experiences, my first broadcasting experience, and made many wonderful friends. In fact, on the advice of one of those friends, I decided to go to Japan.

In Japan, I was a golden child. Wherever the bosses put me, I made the section better. They told me as much. And then, I met Vanessa. At first, we were just a couple of strangers that were going to work together, then we became close confidantes, then travel partners, then touringafficionados...and somewhere in there, I fell in Love with her. Turns out, she was falling for me, too...but not at the same frequency. I always thought she was with someone else, and she thought I only wanted to be her friend. I thought she was upset about somehting (usually on weekends) and she thought I was too unatainable. Anyway, we almost lost a great relationship before it ever started, but one small incident, and in fact, one person, helped bring us together. So, we started seeing each other, and then we started seeing a lot of each other, and then before I knew it, we were dating. I took it slow, cautious to not let myself get hurt again, but still moving at the uncontrolable speed of Love. (Do I sound sappy yet?) Whatever it was, I was happier than I'd been in a long time, and getting happier by the day. I still feel that way, and it's been over two years! Then came the announcement that it was time for me to go. With Vanessa having to stay around Japan, I needed somewhere to go for a year, so I chose Korea. It would be only a year, and we'd be close enough to visit all the time, right? WRONG! My orders got messed up, and I left later than I was supposed to, so we'd actually be apart for most of a year.

So, here I sit, in Korea, waiting for my orders to Germany...

To sum up:
Thanks to the Catholic school teachers, I left and went to public school, where I got picked on, and wanted to leave, so my family moved, and I found a girl I liked, so I made friends with her friends, which led me to liking radio, which led me to get a degree in broadcasting and getting my heart filled and emptied in the process. Thanks to that, I threw myself into books, but not my life, and got destructive, and started thinking about getting away from it all, and doing the job I wanted to do in the military to get experience, so I enlisted, and went to Lajes, where a friend reccommended Japan, where I met Vanessa, which is why I moved to Korea for a year to ultimately be with her.

It's the holidays, and I'm feeling nostalgic...and this came to mind today.
So really, I can thank my first and second-grade teachers, for getting me where I am today.

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I know there are a million stories, and people that helped get me to where I am, and not one of them is unimportant, but I had to try and sum up 23 years of life into what you just read (or skimmed through). I missed a lot of people, and a lot of events, but don't think I've forgotten any of them, or any of you. As I said in my Thanksgiving post...my family and friends have made me who I am, these are just some of the events that led me to WHERE.

132 days left to go!

ULI

LANCELOT

19 December 2006

How I got where I am today. (WARNING IT'S LONG...you might want to skip it and go to the next blog entry...click "Tis the season... on the right)

Tis The Season...for random thoughts.

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