Perspectives

I'm trying to see things in a new light.

Yeah, my job is hard, and I get little support, and a lot of extra work thrown my way, but in the past few days, I've gotten the chance to talk with some people that really helped put things in perspective for me.

One of my new coworkers told me about a job he had previously, where he was publicly humiliated, and physically punished for making even minute (that's MY-NOOT) errors. He said that the entire experience broke him, physically first, then mentally. He told me that after working there, there's nothing in the world that can affect him much like that. Even torture at the hands of an enemy, might not be so bad. He shed some light on things for me that I had somehow missed.

Another person is my father. He gave me this advice a few months ago when I was dealing with my problem Soldier, and now I'm learning to apply it to my own situation. He always says, "at least no one's shooting at you." That actually rang in my ears last night, as I walked home.

So, maybe I'm not happy with where I am, or the job I'm doing at the moment, but there are worse places I could be, and worse things I could be doing. I'm not playing in the sand, and I'm doing a job that ordinarily, I really enjoy doing.

It's just funny, at my first assignment in the Air Force, I wa in the news section for 15 months straight, with no leave, and I look back on that assignment as my best assignment (Japan had the best things come out of it: Vanessa for one, and opportunities to broaden my knowledge and skills for another, but the actuall assignment wasn't great). I know it had a lot to do with the people, dare I say "family" that helped ease me into the military. It could also have been the slower-paced lifestyle that the island naturally bestoewd. Whatever it was, for 15 months in News as a reporter, I had very few complaints. Here, I've been working for 5 months in News (with almost a month off to see my Love) and it's really getting to me. REALLY getting to me.
Have I become soft? Have I changed my attitude to more of a "I deserve this" outlook? I don't think so. Another funny thing is, 60% of the people I work with feel the same way about this assignment.

So, now my task is to try to look on the bright side of life (whee-hoo-we-hoo-we-hoo-we-hoo)
((threw that in for all you Monty Python fans out there))
and to try to make sure my appearance is one of contentment to those around me. Even if it hurts on the inside, hey, at least I'm not getting shot at!
200 Days left to go...

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For those of you wondering, and I know you are, so far, there's nothing going on with the North's tests. We're pretty much business as usual.
Remember, no news is good news. IF you get a call that says something like, "I Love You, I hope I see you again, Make sure the life insurance policy is up-to-date," then you'll know something's up.

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I have a lot of work to do, and very little time to do it in. It's already 11:30pm here, and I have another 5 hours of work ahead of me. My News boss told me to put it off until tomorrow. I thik I'll take him up on it, even if my other boss will yell and scream at me...at least she won't shoot at me.

If you're counting, that's three times I used your one piece of advice, Dad. Don't say I never listen to you. :)

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Jason and Martin (from Vincennes) - keep emailing me so we can go over wedding planning.

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Goodnight.
I have another 4 days before I get the chance to talk to Vanessa.
Everyone pray for her to pass her PT test and BNOC, so she can go to Germany and prove once and for all, that she's as great a Soldier, as we know her to be.
ULI

It's getting tougher

Well, we've wrapped up a four-day weekend. I was lucky enough to get two of the days off of work. Still, I had 24-hour duty Sunday, and I'm right back here Monday, finishing up some work that srill needs to get done.
While I was on NOC (24 Hour duty) I missed my chance to talk to Vanessa. She called me between 4:30 and 5am. When we work our 24 hour schedule, we're allowed to sleep from midnight to 5am. So I missed my last chance to talk to her before her class is over. I feel completely miserable about missing that chance.

- - - -

I got to talk to Mom and Dad this weekend. Not much is happening around the families, other than the usual. You're all in my prayers.

- - - -

I think I'm getting to the point in my Korean assignment, where I just want to give up. Now, I'm not the kind of person to give up, but I feel myself getting there. I'm sick of being in the news department, I'm sick of working long hours after everyone else has gone home. I'm sick of working weekend after weekend just trying to keep up. It's starting to wear me down, and I sometimes just want to let it all come crashing down, and let them yell at me for dropping the ball. I'd do it if it weren't for my work ethic, and my hopes for a nice evaluation (see, this is the time in my career, that if I decide to stay in the Air Force, this EPR will be one that helps get me promoted past others in the same career field. So far, I'm 4 for 4 in perfect evaluations, but this is one of the ones that will count later).
I dunno, do you ever just feel like quitting a job, but can't? What do you do? Well, I know what most of you will say, you'll say, "just quit." In the military, though, you can't. I know I volunteered for this assignment, and I can't back out now. I know I'm good at my job, so they're keeping me in news. I know I'm dependable, and trustworthy, and that's why I get assigned more work than most others. I know Idon't quit until the job is done, and that's why I work most nights and weekends.
I know all this, but I don't have to like it. I wonde what would happen if I just started slipping? Of course I know what would happen, I'd get called into the principal's office, yelled and screamed at, made to feel smaller than I am, and I'd get told I'm letting down the team. BLAH BLAH BLAH! If it weren't for the fact that I try to do my best, ALWAYS, I'd do just enough to get by. They'd eventually take away my assignments chief job, then they'd move me out of news, because they couldn't depend on me, then I'd get stuk in a cake walk job, like studio, that goes home no later than 6pm EVERY NIGHT! Ah, but who am I kidding, right? I'm going to keep doing the same good job I always do. I'm going to plug away, working as many hours as is possible, giving up more and more of my free time to this beast I call AFN Korea.
One thing is for sure, I'm going to snap eventually if things stay the same.
I'm just warning all of you out there (you too coworkers if you know how to find this page) that a storm is brewing on the horizon. It might not hit today, but the clouds are rolling in.
(It's not what you hink Mom)

203 days, 14 hours, and 46 minutes to go as of this posting!