It's getting tougher

Well, we've wrapped up a four-day weekend. I was lucky enough to get two of the days off of work. Still, I had 24-hour duty Sunday, and I'm right back here Monday, finishing up some work that srill needs to get done.
While I was on NOC (24 Hour duty) I missed my chance to talk to Vanessa. She called me between 4:30 and 5am. When we work our 24 hour schedule, we're allowed to sleep from midnight to 5am. So I missed my last chance to talk to her before her class is over. I feel completely miserable about missing that chance.

- - - -

I got to talk to Mom and Dad this weekend. Not much is happening around the families, other than the usual. You're all in my prayers.

- - - -

I think I'm getting to the point in my Korean assignment, where I just want to give up. Now, I'm not the kind of person to give up, but I feel myself getting there. I'm sick of being in the news department, I'm sick of working long hours after everyone else has gone home. I'm sick of working weekend after weekend just trying to keep up. It's starting to wear me down, and I sometimes just want to let it all come crashing down, and let them yell at me for dropping the ball. I'd do it if it weren't for my work ethic, and my hopes for a nice evaluation (see, this is the time in my career, that if I decide to stay in the Air Force, this EPR will be one that helps get me promoted past others in the same career field. So far, I'm 4 for 4 in perfect evaluations, but this is one of the ones that will count later).
I dunno, do you ever just feel like quitting a job, but can't? What do you do? Well, I know what most of you will say, you'll say, "just quit." In the military, though, you can't. I know I volunteered for this assignment, and I can't back out now. I know I'm good at my job, so they're keeping me in news. I know I'm dependable, and trustworthy, and that's why I get assigned more work than most others. I know Idon't quit until the job is done, and that's why I work most nights and weekends.
I know all this, but I don't have to like it. I wonde what would happen if I just started slipping? Of course I know what would happen, I'd get called into the principal's office, yelled and screamed at, made to feel smaller than I am, and I'd get told I'm letting down the team. BLAH BLAH BLAH! If it weren't for the fact that I try to do my best, ALWAYS, I'd do just enough to get by. They'd eventually take away my assignments chief job, then they'd move me out of news, because they couldn't depend on me, then I'd get stuk in a cake walk job, like studio, that goes home no later than 6pm EVERY NIGHT! Ah, but who am I kidding, right? I'm going to keep doing the same good job I always do. I'm going to plug away, working as many hours as is possible, giving up more and more of my free time to this beast I call AFN Korea.
One thing is for sure, I'm going to snap eventually if things stay the same.
I'm just warning all of you out there (you too coworkers if you know how to find this page) that a storm is brewing on the horizon. It might not hit today, but the clouds are rolling in.
(It's not what you hink Mom)

203 days, 14 hours, and 46 minutes to go as of this posting!